Rula Mazigi

Hello, my name is Rula Mazigi and I chronicle the discourse of a “Lone Sheep”, a record of my own moment to moment struggle to BE.  My greatest concern is the deep inner transformation of human consciousness and the revelation of my true Self as an Individual imbued with a genuine WILL. My ultimate dissatisfaction with all of life’s endeavors led me to question my very state of consciousness and all of the content therein. This underlying discontent created within me an observing self which began an intricate study of the detailed nuances of my own behavior, within and without, as well as the general behavior of the herd psychology and the external state of the world at large.

Through a series of coincidences, happenings, and genuine efforts I came to realize that the world I perceived was not reality in its actual state of being, but reality according to my own state of being. In other words, my perceived reality was nothing more than a projection of the mental image of my own self. This fact is obvious to some people, but what shocked me the most was the realization that this relative viewing of the world does not confine to my observations, experiences and perceptions, but are an effect of the conditioning mechanism of the mind which almost all human beings have in common. I then realized that “truth” could never be known objectively when viewed through colored lenses. Truth is a pathless path which can only be walked unwalked by Being and not by pursuing any particular route or method. As J. Krishnamurti once said so beautifully, “Truth is a pathless land”, as Truth essentially IS, colorless, shapeless, and timeless.

What common trait does the human race share which causes them to adhere to the same general misconceptions of life? In a sentence, they share the memory of the accumulated history of humankind, a history of conditioning. Eckhart Tolle , a spiritual teacher whose apparent self-less state of being has imparted upon him an intense clarity and profound wisdom, suggests that a large portion of this conditioning exists as an accumulated emotional energy field he calls the “pain-body” of which each human being has a share even at birth. More importantly, humans share and mechanically internalize the physical and psychological processes by which conditioning is created and reinforced. In a word, human beings essentially share the same MIND, irrespective of race, creed, religion, or class, and it is this phenomenon which causes ‘common’ systems of belief and behavior to be viewed as ‘normal’. If the world were totally insane how would anyone ever realize the insanity from the inside looking out? In the land of the insane, it’s the sane man who appears dysfunctional.

This realization shocked me to the very core and provoked me to delve deeply into the inner realm of my own mind. I realized that I could no longer only consider the particular content of my conscious and unconscious thoughts, feelings, desires, and dreams, but now had to question the common mechanism by which that content came to exist. The entire world ‘out there’, it seemed, was nothing more than a projection of the world ‘in here’, in our minds. Furthermore, the effect of the world “out there” was to cause a re-shaping of the world “in here”, a cyclical phenomenon that J. Krishnamurti aptly called “the ebb and flow” movement of the mind from “inner to outer and outer to inner”.

This movement of the mind which conditions mankind’s view of the world seems to be at the heart of all human suffering. And when human beings suffer within, they tend to create a world that mirrors their own state of being, further perpetuating this cyclical movement or “ebb and flow” from thought to behavior and behavior to thought. This cycle is helplessly enabled by the unconscious mind which bypasses the potential for functioning with a genuine Free Will. Gautama Buddha summed it up when he suggested that ignorance is the cause of all human suffering.

I chronicle my detailed exploration of the causes of suffering as a result of the conditioning of the human mind by paying attention to the fragments of my own inner self, but of much greater importance is my personal struggle to find meaning amidst the meaninglessness of Life.

My intention is to attain freedom from the shackles of the conditioned mind by UNDOING that conditioning through alert observation in the light of Presence, and in this vein I delve deeply into the exploration of the limitations of human perception and the potential for Life as it IS here and NOW.


I See My Non Seeing I See

Ashok Sharda


(Photo Credit - David Martyn Hunt - Sheep)

(Photo Credit – David Martyn Hunt – “Sheep”)

About the Blog:

This blog was envisaged by Rula Mazigi Shin to document her perceptions, impressions and glimpses she had from time to time, mind translating it in words and words knocking her doors. Mostly she lost them in the clamor and hubbub of various voices inside and outside of her. But when ever her situation provided her with conducive space and time, she wrote and posted here on the blog.

This bog remained a very private affair because Rula is a very private person. Externally, we all need to play various roles for our material and social needs but inside we are all an island

Needless to say, a Lone Sheep is alone even amidst the crowd. The crowd and its peculiar psyche is what turns a sheep into a Lone Sheep. The Lone Sheep suddenly finds herself at a cross road. A rebel is born who questions, and every question brings her back to a cross road. In lonesomeness the Lone Sheep becomes a perennial seeker, and in the process starts growing a Third Eye. This Eye doesn’t See through any spec nor is conditioned to look at things within the bounds of the prejudiced mind. This Eye actually Sees metaphysically.

The Lone Sheep doesn’t suffer from loneliness because loneliness is her companion. The Lone Sheep’s individualism is what makes her distance herself from the herd. This individualism helps her see the crowd psychology which, to her horror, is self defeating.

Now yet another Lone Sheep, Ashok Sharda, has decided to give company to the lone walker, Rula Mazigi, to give new life to this blog. This companionship doesn’t turn two individuals into a crowd. The Crowd is a name of a psychology, whereas lonesomeness is not. A crowd is a crowd because it refuses to see beyond the conditioning and prejudices of the common beliefs of the crowd. Here the Lone Sheep realizes that one is plural and all paths are opinions. The Lone Sheep endeavors to attain this inner unity, call it Oneness or if you like – Nirvana. In all his/her behavior patterns the Lone Sheep is pro life.

Most people believe that they are their body and mind. Whatever other beliefs exist apart from this unexplored “fact” are beliefs that are added onto the one Truth that no one can deny or debate – the mind and body are 100% subject to death.

What if “I am” is something more than just the body and mind? What if the divinity within is not contained in some afterlife or reincarnation, but right here right Now? What if the only thing that prevents one from realizing the divine immortality of (who/what) “I am”, is simply a mental obstruction which has accumulated over a lifetime right in front of the Third Eye, making it blind to Knowledge that would set the Lone Sheep free from his/her history, and thus, all psychological pain and suffering?

The blog authors at Chronicle of a Lone Sheep sense that there is something very wrong with the world of human beings. We feel that the violent world around us is not just a coincidence, but an unconscious consequence of our individual and collective identification with the contents of our mind(s). The human world is a creation that has a direct relationship with the quality of our Being and the content of our minds.

“We are the world, and the world is us.” – J. Krishnamurti

Have you ever stood before a mirror and asked, “Who am I?” Have you ever deeply questioned the meaning of Life and sought to understand the true nature of humankind’s fear of the unknown which we ultimately call “death”, the conjured image of which causes even the most capable and psychologically stable human beings to tremble? Although from the outside there is an appearance that many different kinds of fear exist from the mundane to the severe, fear itself is essentially a matter of survival. Whether real or perceived, physical or psychological, the mechanism which brings about the emotion of ‘fear’ is meant to avert death, and to promote survival.

We suppose these age old questions, if not one and the same, are at least related to each other, and have bothered us deeply since early childhood. Our lives have been a combined unconscious and conscious search for the meaning of Life, and all our lives have been a series of happenings arising from the deep rooted fear at having never found a satisfactory answer.

Despite having “everything” we could ever want or need, our experience of a pervasive underlying unhappiness revealed a deep sense that human beings tend to ascribe meaning to their lives which lacks the depth of Life’s true potential and beauty. We feel that it is this superficial existence which causes human suffering on all levels, physical, psychological, and for some, even spiritual.

This blog is dedicated to questioning the depths of life as human beings tend to perceive and live it, without seeking any rigid answers, formulas, or methods for defining life’s essential limitless and ethereal quality. Life’s depth simply cannot be confined to the limited intellectual perspective of the individual or the collective mind. Instead, we wish to engage in the very deep exploration of the essential questions that seem to have haunted us all our lives, and have kept us from LIVING to our fullest potential.

We wonder, is human Life, as the Buddha claimed 2600 years ago, synonymous with suffering? If so why? Is it that Life itself is misery, or that the hand of Nature is as cold and merciless as it is warm and nurturing? Or could it simply be that the typical human mind is incapable of perceiving reality in its entirety, as it truly IS? If not, may he yet have the potential to SEE!? Is the natural state of human suffering totally unavoidable? More importantly, is mankind even aware of his own blindness, his own incapacity to see with his entire Being?

Perhaps LIFE, as a whole, is full of beauty which, when perceived wholly, is meaningful for its own sake. But what if the eye of the human mind has only evolved the capacity to perceive in parts? Can the splendor and meaning of the Whole ever be Known? Can the true significance, beauty, and meaning of a great painting ever be realized by viewing just one of its corners, or even all four of its corners? Can two people looking at one corner of a painting interpret that corner in the same way, let alone agree on the extrapolated meaning of the picture as a whole?

We feel that human pain and suffering has very little to do with external circumstances. By turning our attention inwards towards our own thoughts and reactions we find that we are hardly in control of anything that we do. Therefore we are slaves to our own mental conditioning, justifying all thoughts and reactions that are contrary to our Intending Self.

We find that we are not ONE self, but many selves – a Legion –  whose collective identity is divided into many contradicting entities each with its own fears, beliefs, feelings, moods, and justifications.

These questions and their infinite extensions are addressed by the Lone Sheep from as many angles as possible through a series of discourses and personal explorations of the inner and outer worlds perceived by human beings in general.

Most importantly, however, the discourses of the Lone Sheep are thinking processes that intend to transcend the natural sleepwalking state which plagues humankind and strips them of true Will and creativity. Chronicle of a Lone Sheep is a record of the authors’ attempts to traverse the pathless path to WAKEFULLNESS and to realize the true meaning and potential of LIFE.