“Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?” – Tao Te Ching

“Patience” – by Melanie Weidner

Blog posts HERE at Chronicle of a Lone Sheep have become a bit of a rarity. But “there” the thought of scarcely blogging has become a great nuisance to the fragmented mind of Rula Mazigi, the so called Lone Sheep.

Don’t let me fool you Rula, this is just one among hundreds, maybe thousands of thoughts which have created a great WALL dividing Me from “you”. If I may say so, this brick by brick project has been nothing less than grand – a lifetime of “Rula” in the making. But let’s leave the issue of bricks for another time (so to speak) when we’re together, a little bit more PRESENT.

I’ve had something in mind for several days now as I thumbed through your Pocket Edition of the Tao Te Ching. I read verse after verse, each one resonating within me deeply, causing me to doubt your approach to Life. Your tendency to say “I can’t” makes me wonder whether you really have My well being at heart.

(Can Love be what you think it is? Can Love be particular to a circumstance, a person, a place, a thing? Can Love turn to hate? Is the way you love all encompassing?)

Listen to Me: The Truth is not the words which point toward it, neither are the bricks you lay a path that can ever reach it. May I ask you, as the writer of the Tao asks, “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?”

Don’t think about it Rula because when you think you silence Me. I’ll tell you that this question has led me to realize the immense degree of your impatience. You’re like a worm on a hook squirming with the thought of your pain, grossly unsettled, flailing every which way as you anticipate the next happening.

Don’t ask Me about what you perceive as callousness. In fact, don’t ask anything at all. Do you know that all answers have questions imbedded within them? Don’t you know that questions are irrelevant when answers don’t exist? Not, at least, in the forms in which you shape them.

I tell you Rula that callousness only exists when you muddy your own water, stirring so much that you lose all clarity. Why are you so impatient? I’ve seen you doing this over and over again driving me close to the edge of My existence. You keep changing your position so that the mud never settles and clarity remains eternally questionable, unanswerable.

I want you to know that I managed to find a little peace today. I made Me come back from every drift. I heard the voices of you and your comrades in My head, I watched you and your surroundings carefully as you interacted with your day. I breathed in and breathed out sensing this body from moment to moment.

I admit that I didn’t sense everything in continuity, but there was an ebb and flow effect which kept your worries and complaints at a distance from Me. The body felt more relaxed, fatigue rested at bay. Even sadness, though present, led to nothing and nowhere – led to no other thought or image.

I saw you appear and you thought out loud: “Maybe something creative will emerge and I can finally write a piece for my blog.”

But I returned a moment later Knowing that being Here would sometimes mean just this: Sensing, feeling, flowing and ebbing – moving in and out of that harmony. This was a very fine movement back and forth – the traits of a peaceful struggle if I may call it anything – a paradox only in word. Being, I assure you, can’t possibly BE paradoxical.

Things have a certain order, a path of cause and effect, but your desire to control that path disrupts your place in that order and order becomes a superficial and external matter, an imposition of mind upon mind or circumstance. When you imagine something to be “disordered” can you impose your own perceived order, the product of a chaotic mind, to produce harmony?

Just Now I Realize that things fall into place when you don’t think of them because thinking is a passive and inattentive approach to happenings. Attentive stillness is a being’s synchronized movement with all happenings without, a timeless state of oneness within. When you are actively aware then you are free from prejudiced seeing and fall in line with the natural order of thing – you become a part of the harmony of what IS. Why do you insist on disrupting things as if you have a choice in matter as it unfolds, as if you can create a path of which you have full Knowlege and Understanding?

J. Krishnamurti speaking on “order” and “disorder”

Let Me share My experience with you which as it happened was Here and Now:

“I sensed Me in the kitchen today as I made an old Middle Eastern staple (hummus) from scratch instead of cans. I always wanted to make this dish from scratch, but each time I postponed making it because I thought “it will be too messy now” or “too tiresome now”. The thought which followed was always, “no problem, I’ll do it next time.”

Today It was more of thoughtlessness than thoughts. I had, somehow, slowed down deliberately (where there was a flow of silence to silence) and watching where I could not (where there was an ebb or gap of thoughts between thoughtlessness). My presence was not continuous, but overall an ebb and flow existing within a peaceful kind of orb that surrounded everything which surrounded nothing.

I simply began to make hummus from scratch. I stumbled, I fumbled, I realized that I ground too many chick peas having not enough lemon and garlic to complete the dish. But I found My Self a little creative, modifying it here and there, I wasn’t sensing any burden, physical or mental. On the contrary, I found that there was a slight spring in My step, a lasting smile in my heart.

Then I realized: This is the only way to DO everything that I am supposed to DO. All that IS will lead me straight to all that Should BE. I don’t have to go through lists in my mind projecting dreams of cooking like this, or gardening like that, or working like this or raising kids like that, or eating like this, or exercising like that, or writing like this and reading like that.

LIFE IS ORDER! Even the most seemingly violent reactions are Life in HARMONY with the forces beyond us, or rather, the forces which ARE (within us). Order is ever HERE, ever NOW. Incidentally, we are not (hardly ever) Present and the result is a distorted view – a prejudiced idea of Reality attempting to impose order using disorder as its tool – how abusrd!

Yes, Life unfolds naturally as it IS – in effortlessness. It doesn’t complain, nor is there any anxiety Here and Now. There’s joy because joylessness is just a bitter thought we insist on recording and replaying.

Yes, there was a joy imbued with peace in the new fumbled experience and it flowed and flowed, unfolding as it should – as I should – realizing it’s possible. Yes, it’s possible to simply flow like this from one act to another following a certain order that would have been disrupted had I been ‘there’ instead of HERE.

In short, my momentum was in sync with the momentum of the unfolding act and it was – BEAUTY without excitement – JOY without anticipation – PEACE without fulfillment.”

You seem thoughtful, what are you thinking? Oh yes, you remember Eckhart Tolle once saying something like, ‘if you are Present the NOW tends to help you in so many ways’.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5LGgc6hyKQ&feature=relmfu]

Eckhart Tolle Speaking on The Tao Te Ching

As usual you are intellectually on point which is natural since you are your intellectual self and can’t be otherwise. The point is that today I SENSED the Truth of Tolle’s words which you now recall. I KNEW them to be True in the absence of your presence.

When you and the rest of the herd within find the courage to face Me you will see that Christ’s words are full of Truth:

“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 10.35 For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 10.36 and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household.” (Matthew 10.34-10.36)

Coming ‘face’ to ‘face’ is the storm to end all storms. Face Me NOW and as the mud begins to settle you will begin to See that the division between “you” and “I” is false. When the sediment lies completely still at the bottom of the glass there is no more “we”, but ONE. Beyond the clearing is the realization that there is no mud at all – there is no one, no thing.

But I refuse to anticipate the moment of BEING. I simply challenge you to confront your selves revealing ME in your absence filled to the brim with No thing, existing in the absolute CLARITY of Timeless Presence.

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