There comes a moment in Life when there is no thing left to hold on to. No material possession, no loved one, no idea, belief, hope, or dream. There comes a moment when all escape routes melt away before your very eyes and the river of Life flows out and away. This moment arrived for my beautiful, gentle, kind, and loving Uncle early this morning.

Yes, my Uncle was a beautiful human being in so many ways. Indeed he was soft spoken, generous, a wonderful father, a loving brother, uncle, and I have no doubt, an equally kind, generous and loving friend.

When one speaks of an individual human being who is an extension of one’s own self there is no doubt that one is viewing the world with tinted shades, but remove the personal context from any happening and one cannot pretend that humanity as a whole is a gentle race, nor that our ability to reason, or our so called “creative genius” translates clearly into the True sense behind the words “evolution” and “intelligence.” No self destructive race can actually claim intelligence, nor will such a race survive to evolve, and there is no doubt that humanity is destroying itself as well as other beings on this precious earth we call our home.

No matter what we think or believe, no matter what illusions of grandeur we pretend to own, no matter what feelings of love or hate we define our lives by, no matter what person, place, or thing we stake a claim to, the fact is that human beings are fragile and limited. In terms of the physical form all beings are helpless. Death is a part of Life which cannot be separated, which cannot be viewed as an ultimate beginning separate from its ultimate end. Yet for human beings the fear of death has multiplied far beyond providing aid for our physical survival. Rather, the fear of death, which is a thought – a conceptual reality – has created a malignant inner realm, a cancerous psychological world of anxiety, neuroses, addiction, competition and violence which manifests outwardly in an external world of daily suffering that reflects this inner fear and turmoil.

Is humanity destined to remain on this helpless path of suffering and self destruction? Are we destined to become obsolete, to be selected out by nature? Are we destined to remain psychologically un-evolved, psychologically unintelligent, emotionally idiotic and totally ruled by our conceptual fears, the deepest root of which is the fear of the unknown, the ultimate unknown being our physical death?

I can’t claim to know the answer to such questions, though I do wonder and I do ask. But I have realized in some moments of exceptional mental silence that there may indeed be a way “out” of this human dilemma, a way “out” of the human condition. What I realized is that the way “out” is IN. The misery and decay of the external human world is merely a projection of what remains WITHIN the heart of man, which is a division of self caused by a fragmentation of the psyche due to a deep rooted conceptual fear of death. This malignancy, this tumor lies WITHIN us and not without. We must begin here if we are to change our destiny, our world. Each individual must begin with an inner exploration of the self instead of pointing at others and claiming “they” are at fault for the problems of the human world.

As for the death of my beloved Uncle, I want to say something that may not alter reality as we know it, see it, feel or experience it. When a loved one passes away we tend to helplessly say that “this is life”, but Life is not a fraction of a thing. Life is not a piece, not a part, how can it be? Life is all encompassing, Whole. That we human beings in our finite physical form find difficulty recognizing our underlying infinite nature, our wholeness which is the wholeness of the Source itself, is the human condition. The Truth is beyond our imaginations or our little beliefs, our little lives. The Truth is that Energy never dies. Only those whom our loved ones leave behind will remain to suffer.

“Death is so personal to us, but so impersonal to Nature. I believe with all of my heart, with all of my being that Life is not limited to this body and mind of ours – there is a greater and higher consciousness of which we are all a part. Actually, the whole is contained within the part as it’s said that while the ocean is filled with drops of water, within each drop an ocean exists. We spend a fraction of time on this adventurous little vacation we call “Life”, but where we truly belong is HOME. This Home, whatever it may BE, is where we ARE our True self stripped of all fears, all personalities, conflicts, and dueling states of being  – conscious only of the beauty of existence, no longer experiencing the self as a small ‘part’, but Realizing through the Actualization of Being that Infinite Realm, One with the Source. We must all eventually come back Home, and therefore, death is part of life itself and not the end of it. There is no end but in appearances. That’s what I truly feel.”

Upon my utterance of these words which were little consolation to the loved I was speaking to I was asked, “Aren’t you talking about God?”

He asks me this question because he knows that I prefer not to speak the word “God” out loud which has become so distorted and so misused, and has come to represent not something whole but something fragmented, a divided truth. To him I replied, “Yes, but not the God of the common belief system, not the one that is the creator while I am the created. Can Truth exist as a Reality that is un-whole? Can Truth exist as separation? Can Truth ever be fragmented into “you” and “I”, into “Master” and “Servant”, into “Creator” and “Created”?

I see clearly how the image of the God of the common belief system manifested and became an instrument of division which separates one believer from the other, one worshipper from the other, one assumption from the other. How can a “God” created by divided minds not become a divisive “God”? Any conceptual experience of “God” is nothing more than a hope, a dream, an emotionally or mechanically expressed thought, a crutch against the fear of death, a comfort against our fear of the unknown. How can we realize the infinite dimension within us when we only recognize the finite of living in this temporary state, vacationing away from our Home, exploring the sights and sounds intellectually or emotionally instead of with our entire Being?

Despite the ups (“good”) and downs (“bad”) that human’s experience as a matter of natural law, there are a few rare jewels that we encounter beyond ‘good’ and ‘bad’ – they are rarities of sight and sound that reverberate at the depths of one’s being, vibrating to our very core. Certain individuals do provide such beautiful quality impressions, the rare jewels that are capable of enriching this finite Life of ours, deepening the realization of the infinite dimension within. My Uncle was one of those jewels.

So, what are we fragile and limited human beings to “do” in these helpless situations? Is there anything to be done at all other than accepting our helplessness? Is there anything to be done other than looking within, recognizing the division and undoing the conditioned selves which have created our fragmented psyche?

Finally, I have come to realize that the only way “out” is “in”. I have come to realize that the moment that I accept my helplessness I am helpless no more.

Rest in Peace Beloved One.