I know things happen and I let them happen.

I had realized this fact long ago and started calling all the so called ‘doings’ an end result of ‘logical determinism’. I realize this fact day in and day out when, despite wanting to break from yesterdays, I keep on living it every day. I look at the world at large and find ‘history’ living through every human being- be it in the form of their DNA (their forefathers and fore-mothers living through them) or in the dualistic beliefs of the common belief system, internalized more or less in their formatory age by way of conditioning of their minds.

Intellectually, it isn’t so hard to break away from my conditioning to some measure having realized the ‘fact’ and to certain degree, subdue the impulses generated by internalized past impressions and some of the character traits imposed by my dna. But in practicalities of day to day life, particularly in adverse situations, I find it utterly difficult, having realized that ‘what is’ of those internalized ‘impressions’ is what determines my role in what’s happening. ‘What is’ is ever capable of telling you ‘what should be’. I know ‘undoing’ is the only answer. Yes, ‘undoing’ happenings breaks the chain of cause and effect that activates my yesterdays to live today; binds me to history which manifests in my conditioned reaction to situations, and as an end result, I let happen ‘happenings’ claiming it to be my doing.

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How did that happen? By rabiem 22

I know if I fail, I’ll be living yesterday for ever. My forefathers, foremothers and the common belief system will be living my days, my being, my life, my space and time.

There are situations beyond me, arising from the umpteen chains of cause and effect which isn’t my doing, I am fated to concede. Acceptance is the only way to avoid unproductive conflict. One is no more helpless if one accepts helplessness. But there are situations where in I am a factor, I can, to certain extent, turn the table against ‘happening’ by changing my role from that of active to passive or from that of passive to active. Over and above, if one can erase ‘personal history’, one can neutralize the reconciling factor, where in ‘meet’ the active and passive forces to cause a happening.

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‘Doing’- A new leaf by Leland Francisco

Unwanted happenings always bring ’bad feelings’ which needs undoing. It’s strange that I call it unwanted though I am, invariably, the ‘yes’ which makes it happen. When a ‘happening’ knocks my doors and not only I let it in but also entertain it, despite the choice of a ‘no’- the only choice I have in a situation like this. (I am lucky in a sense that I have a ‘no’ against a ‘yes’ and a ‘yes’ against a ‘no’, this is what provides me with a little choice,  if I can call it a choice, because they have reasons to be inside me, outcome of ‘impressions’, not of my choice.) Though, this also, I know, is the very cause of conflict. In the absence of two opposite forces there cannot be a conflict. The path to no conflict zone- the inner unity- passes through conflict. But then I must walk this path emerging a ‘winner’. Those who do not have a ’no’ against ‘yes’ or the other way round are deprived of any choice. Such unfortunate beings are ‘yes’ in totality or a ‘no’ in totality, at any given point in time, claiming happenings as their doing. ‘I did it’ is what they normally claim or else put the blame on their temporary foolhardiness or bad luck.

It is as clear as the day of light that when I am immersed in ‘bad feelings’ the limited choice of a ‘no’ would not let it happen. If I choose to say ‘no’ to happening, happening will not happen. This ‘undoing’ of happening will tantamount to my ‘doing’. ‘Doing’ thus is ‘Undoing’ in real sense; You ‘Undo’ and the ‘Doing happens’. You fail to ‘undo’, the ‘happening happens’.

But despite the presence of a ‘no’- I agree that the ‘no’ was weak, but then I question to my self- what have I done to strengthen it; On the contrary, by succumbing to a ‘yes’ time and again I reinforce the ‘yes’ by allowing it to built up and fortify associations, It’s very energy source. Now every time a conducive to ‘yes’ association will cross my path the ‘yes’ will get energized and ‘no’ will go back stage, feeling weak. At times, I add to my predicament by justifying the ‘yes’, smoothening the path of ‘yes’, turning the onslaught of happening pleasurable without giving a thought to the after effects.

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Why don’t I think of the consequential effect before the effect’s invasion? Apart from the ‘bad thought’ there are several after effects, effecting my mind and body, reinforcing my yesterday onto today? The biggest casualty, needless to say, is my life’s mission to attain inner unity.

I am here with my ‘bad feeling’, writing this piece. ‘Bad feelings’ make me believe that I am not going back for a ‘yes’. Believe me, at this point of time it’s easy to believe. But my past experience says, this will harm me more than helping me out. The lingering ‘bad feeling’ brings back the visuals of weak conflicting moments which add to my anxiety. I feel fearful of my susceptibility against the emergence of deep rooted ‘yes’.  Yes, my ‘yes’ is too strong against my ‘no’. I must prepare myself for the future onslaught of the ‘no’. I must bear in my mind the invincibility of the laws and prepare and program myself for the inevitable onslaught. So far the bad feeling persist I know I am safe from this onslaught but sooner or later it will evaporate and…I don’t want to think. I just want to prepare, building up argument against the ‘yes’ and its justifications.  I must win all the associations by preparing me for the sufferings conflict will bring.

Am I prepared? I don’t know yet.

Why do I keep on playing the role the law of happening determines for me? Why do I forego the sense of proportion when driven by any desire, impulsively? I spend physical time and energies disproportionately large, wasting precious energies and physical time that adds up to life. What else is life in the absence of physical time and energies in this four dimensional physical world? What would become of life if the time and energies are taken away from us or abused?

I know I must balance the cost and the purpose not unlike when I shop for anything (obviously, when I am not buying impulsively). I also know that ‘time’ will lose its meaning when it is used for ‘life providing acts’. Time, then, will turn into notime and energy into bliss.

 

What more do I need?

 

 

‘UNDOING is doing in real sense rest is mere happening’– A S.

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