As the “New Year” approaches me I sense a feeling of excitement thinking of ‘things to come.” I have seen many posts online which rejoice in the coming of the New Year and many others who feel they are “Starting the New Year right!” Oh how I hope that I too have started this New Year on the right track, on the right note, on the right foot walking on the right path! But how will I know if my foot is on the right path on this day which marks the Newness of the Year? How will I know that I am starting “anew” as this New Year approaches me?

I take measurement of my first resolution to “eat healthy” and I find that yes, I did indeed eat healthy today! Wow, I have definitely started this year on the right foot heading in a new direction, walking a new path ready to experience a better year already! What else? Did I write today, did I read today? Did I exercise, did I watch less TV, work harder, waste less? Did I make dinner for my children? Did I complain less, has my being evolved a little since yesterday? When the answer is ‘yes, yes, yes and more yes” then I can clearly say (having taken precise measurements) that this year is approaching me in its newness, remaking me into someone brand new!

But I do realize that tomorrow I will have to remember to stay on this new path as it approaches without drifting onto some other path, some old path. The year is new, the path is new, and I am new! I just can’t spoil this New Year by letting anything old creep into the newness approaching me can I?

Hmmm…I stop for a moment to consider the newness of this last thought as I decide that one cheese sandwich isn’t going to kill me. The new me is just reasoning things out and one cheese sandwich is very reasonable having eaten so healthily today in light of my new resolutions, sitting here wearing my brand new skin.

“Is this thought new Rula? Are the resolutions new? Is the excitement of the first day of sticking to these resolutions new? Is the waning of that excitement and eventual approach of boredom causing me to justify picking up a cheese sandwich on the second day of the “New Year” NEW? I wonder, does the New Year actually approach, does time approach me renewed or is it me who approaches time and space dressed in ‘old’ or ‘new’ skin, looking through the same old colored eyes?

I put the cheese sandwich down. These are old thoughts, old habits. These are old excitements, old boredoms, and old cycles. This “New Year” is no more new than the moment before which I repeated a moment later dressed in my yesterdays, wearing my old tinted shades, whistling the same old recorded tune.

The year doesn’t change or become ‘new’, nor does the day or any moment of existence approach me ‘changed’ or ‘better’ or with some greater potential. The potential doesn’t exist in time, the potential exists within ME. Time doesn’t change its approach to anyone or anything. As a matter of fact externally the clock keeps ticking steadily without hesitation or a care in the world for any thought or action of mine steadily working on the degeneration and regeneration of the physical world. Yes, the time doesn’t change its approach towards me, rather, it’s my mind which must change its approach towards time, towards space, towards the world within and without. Time renews from moment to moment, which means that time doesn’t exist, it is always NOW. But my life doesn’t renew, my life isn’t NOW because I am so attuned to living in my yesterdays, projecting them onto some imaginary tomorrows. Can I erase my yesterdays from moment to moment thus erasing my tomorrows and simply LIVING here and NOW?

No, I can’t approach a day with the same associations, mechanical thoughts, and cycles as the year or day before and expect to ‘start anew’ or to pin my hopes of ‘newness’ on the time which approaches me no differently the moment before New Year’s Eve than it does the moment New Year’s Day arrives.  How can I renew life by celebrating in the same old manner, eating, drinking, and passing time? It’s not the arrival of the New Year (which is the arrival of nothing but my own mind at an imaginary crossroads) which changes me. It’s me who must change, and then we will see if the year becomes “new” or not, if the year changes or not.

Yes, let’s erase yesterday, rebelling against the ‘old’ not by celebrating the idea of ‘newness’, but by living like a rebel refusing to arrive at this moment, this LIFE, dressed in the skin of yesteryear, as for any change seeker there’s no need to wait for a new year! In fact, this NEW approach is to end all approaches once and for all, ending all of my prejudices is to end my approach towards Life as a timeline of my yesterdays culminating in today’s and projecting tomorrows. My new approach is to unapproach – to be and become one with time as if there is no time and no new year.

So let not my legion of selves clink their glasses toasting the approach of the New Year with stale champagne.  Instead, let ME simply face Life as it appears from moment to moment, fearlessly getting into conflict with the legion of old selves, rebelling against my history of associations and habits, undoing my mechanical walk towards death, missing nothing and gaining LIFE which is ever NEW in this very moment.